Adam Driver, or the rise of the internet’s most improbable erotic fantasy
At the beginning of January the trailer of the film was published 65 and the words “Adam Driver” immediately climbed to the top of the most mentioned on Twitter. The reason was not what the actor does in the movie (fight dinosaurs on another planet), that was just the excuse to return to one of the recurring debates that has divided the internet the most for the last 10 years: Is Adam Driver good or, on the contrary, is it the antimorbid?
Since he played the boyfriend of the protagonist of the series GirlsDriver has had one of those careers that evoke the title of “best actor of his generation”: he has worked with Spielberg, Scorsesethe Coen, karmush, read, soderbergh, Carax and Scott. He has won the Volpi Cup in Venice and has been nominated for an Oscar twice in a row. His next roles are in Ferrari of mann and in Megalopolis of Coppola. But it’s also the Internet’s favorite sexual fantasy. At first the phenomenon slipped through the cracks of social networks as a kind of “unspeakable morbidity” until it emerged in 2017: the last jedi, in which he played the villain Kylo Ren, featured several scenes of shirtless Driver gloating over his 6’9″ height and stocky (not hunky) build forged in the navy. Adam Driver brought sex, sweat and erotic tension to Star Wars. His shirtless scene sparked the Ben Solo Challenge, which consisted of trying on baggy, high-waisted chino pants and proving that they don’t look good on anyone except Adam Driver.
The Force Awakens another force awoke: a legion of people who believed their desire for Driver to be a personal perversion realized they weren’t alone. That is, thanks to Star Wars Driver’s condition as sex symbol made mainstream. That was when everyone wanted to participate in the debate around their eroticism. Some find his physique repulsive (“He looks like a dislocated knee,” one detractor tweeted), but many others can’t contain their desire, spending dozens of words explaining everything they’d like to do with Adam Driver. Or rather, what they would like me to do to them.
He himself defines his face as “a visual joke”: it takes up more space in his head than it should and everything is out of proportion inside it. His eyes are tiny, his nose and mouth are huge, and his complexion is full of blemishes. When he puts on an expression, everything rearranges like a painting. I look. His ramshackle physical build only seems to make sense when she’s in character. But it is Adam Driver as a whole, as a group and as a concept, which awakens primary drives among a large part of the population.
The writer Brian Hiatt stated in rolling stones that attempts to describe Adam Driver’s physique are a literary subgenre unto themselves. His admirers feel a primal attraction to him that cannot be reasoned about. “Will I ever know peace?” the journalist tweeted. Hunter Harris. “I want his hand to cover my entire face and imagining it makes me weak for several minutes,” she wrote. Opheli Garcia in mic. In his review of the Broadway play Burn Thishe New York Magazine described Driver’s character as “a wise old oak tree on Viagra.” A journalist confessed that when she passed him at the Bafta awards gala, she leaned in to smell him. “Adam Driver was created by a woman,” someone tweeted. The producer Lindsay McManus He confessed that he wanted Driver to “put his body over mine like a blanket.” He New York Times He defined his features as “worthy of a public statue” and his physique as “worthy of the Mongolian grasslands.” the journalist Katrina Maisie Cabral described his physique as “the wingspan of a refrigerator and the combination of an alpha male with the sensibility of someone who could give a talk on the meaning of hand-to-hand rubbing.” pride and prejudice”. buzzfeed devoted an entire article to fantasies like: “His giant hooves would cradle me like a baby”, “I feel safe in the shadow of that mountain”, “Let me watch you while you eat mangoes” or “Let me take refuge in your chest and die”. . The Cut envisioned “21 Things We’d Like To Do With Adam Driver,” which included setting up an Ikea bookcase, riding him like a horse in non-sexual terms, transcribing War and peace whole on his chest or planning a trip to Portugal, which evokes a parody of the erotic-romantic ideals of the millennial. “They say that poetry gives you back your own thoughts with added majesty”, analyzed the director of story of a marriage Noah Baumbach“And that’s what Adam does.”
In 2021, many headlines proclaimed that Driver had “broken the internet” with a campaign for Burberry in which he ran along the beach shirtless with a horse. that announcement of Mario Sorrenti he understood that the actor’s magnetism appeals to the taboos of the human subconscious and provokes desires that we didn’t even know we had. Who would have thought that the internet would baptize a Hollywood star as a “centaur”? sexy”?
Linking Driver’s physique to animals or trees seems like the only way to do him justice. He himself said that his character in Girlscalled Adam because Lena Dunham he was inspired by him to write it, he was “half poet, half rhinoceros”. Therefore, wanting it connects with a wild nature that many inhabitants of big cities instinctively crave. This was made clear by the presenter and comedian john oliver when he used the actor as a running joke on his show. It all started when the Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi walked out of an interview. “That kind of behavior is only acceptable on the part of Adam Driver,” Oliver said, referring to the interview from which the actor left because they put a video clip on him. story of a marriage (he hates seeing or hearing himself). “And that’s only because Adam Driver can do whatever the fuck he wants.” Then the comedian took a photo of the actor on a red carpet and exclaimed: “Step on my throat, Adam Driver, break my fingers, you melancholy mountain.” This gag connected with the hyperbole and masochism with which the millennials they like to express everything and also appealed to the shameful low passions, which always work better with humor. Oliver spent all of 2020 gloating over his, as the lass says, thirsty by Driver: “The only contagious disease that two-thirds of the world should be contracting right now is Adam Driver fever. Destroy my knees, you fuckable redwood; break my fingers, you sleazy buffalo; sneeze into my McFlurry, thoughtful bison; pull out my heart by the ear, fleshy oak; give me a restraining order, helpless block; beg me to stop, threatening obstacle… and yes, my wife is listening to me, it’s part of the morbidity”.
Oliver’s gag would not be funny with an actor of canonical beauty like Brad Pitt either Timothée Chalamet, because it would be too obvious, but in this case it is hilarious because wanting Driver implies a certain depravity. The joke, therefore, has layers, depth and mystery around how the human libido works. Because Adam Driver pours out something that the stars of the past had but that the current ones lack: mystery. Expressing how much he would like to be subdued by Adam Driver, Oliver finds humor in the forbidden, in what many people feel but dare not say. Plus, the joke appeals to the ultimate taboo: Adam Driver has the kind of presence that elicits sexual desire even in straight-identifying men. And, deep down, anyone can understand what John Oliver is referring to when he assures that he would like Driver to “collapse on my chest, an impenetrable barrier; Impale my brain, you unacceptable monstrosity.”
Oliver’s recurring joke culminated when the actor himself entered his program to ask him to stop harassing him: “I don’t know you at all and now there are people on the internet who say that we stanea and that you thirsty for me it is a mood. I’m sick of people stopping me on the street and asking me if I’m going to put a hole in the wall like I did in the wall in story of a marriage!”, he said in reference to the discussion between his character and that of Scarlett Johansson which became a meme in 2019. This gag shows that Adam Driver is aware of his status as an internet sexual fetish, that he speaks the dialect of the modern celebrity, and that he is willing to partake of it.
No one ever knows what’s going on inside Adam Driver’s head, not even when he delivers it in that earth-shaking (and knee-shaking) baritone voice. That weird physique locks up an even weirder guy, who liked to burn things as a teenager, founded a fight club before enlisting in the navy, and sang Happy Birthday on his entrance exam for Juilliard. But what is clear is what he represents, or what many admirers have projected onto him: the brute with a soul, as in his day they were Burt Lancaster either Liam Neeson, in whose arms anyone would feel safe. The drawing of a novel Corin Tellado always ready to make you his at the foot of a redwood and then build you a table with his own hands. The only Hollywood actor capable of starring patersonwhere he played a bus driver who wrote poetry in his spare time; story of a marriagewhere its sensitivity of new man it clashed with the traditional precepts of the heteronorm; and Annette, a musical in which he played the widowed father of a puppet star of the song. A man who eats six eggs for breakfast and a whole chicken for lunch. In other words, Adam Driver represents the update of a vintage masculinity that the public should no longer feel attracted to but is programmed to desire and that, in reality, is never created or destroyed, only transformed. Not surprisingly, his first name evokes the original man. The only conclusion to the debate, therefore, is that Adam Driver is Schrödinger’s handsome man: he is hot at all times and he is not hot at all at the same time.