Compulsive sexual behavior, an invisible consequence of sexual abuse
I met a boy one night when I was 16. We went to my house and even though I asked him to stop several times, he forced me to have sex. I was paralyzed. From that point on, I started hanging out more and having sex with guys I didn’t even like. I didn’t understand why I did it: I felt guilty, dirty and disappointed in myself. If after something like this I didn’t want to be touched, then why do I do the opposite?
Testimony of Rocio, 19 years old.
Sexual assault exceeds the ability to cope and has a strong negative impact on victims on an emotional level. This represents a direct attack on the sense of security. Historically, women have been the main victims of this type of violence due to power dynamics and gender inequality.
emotional devastation
These experiences can change the way we feel, behave, and treat others in the future. Research to date has focused on the consequences suffered by juveniles who assaulted adults, while cases between peers are less visible. And even more so if they occur within a relationship.
Despite this, a number of studies have shown that a third of teenage girls worldwide begin their sexual lives in forced relationships. As this onset occurs earlier and earlier, the prevalence of aggression among young adults and adolescents may rise alarmingly.
In terms of the main psychological consequences, we find depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, self-harm, dissociation, phobias and hypersexuality. We’ll talk more about the latter, which is less common, later.
Such changes can appear immediately after the attack or several years later, seriously interfering with the lives of the victims. Sometimes an event, situation, or smell that reminds you of the experience can trigger symptoms.
The need to give it a name
It is human nature to hide aggression due to fear of accusations (“you could have avoided this”) and social stigma, as well as due to one’s own feelings of shame and guilt.
All this, and a lack of understanding of what happened, prevents victims from daring to identify it as sexual abuse, especially if it comes from a partner, which usually worsens symptoms. It has been proven that giving it a name is necessary to cope with trauma and be able to live with it.
It is important to note that among the possible responses to threat—attack, flight, or inaction—paralysis is typically the most common in sexual assault. Intense fear leads to immobility and even the inability to make sounds, making it difficult for the victim to defend himself or resist. This can lead to feelings of helplessness in the face of future threats and is associated with a greater likelihood of developing PTSD in the future.
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In addition, the victim usually has difficulty remembering what happened and experiences a sense of unreality because fear blocks the information processing system. Our brains store what happens to us in memory, but this can cause a kind of amnesia in the face of traumatic situations to protect itself.
However, sometimes you can relive what happened again in the form memories throughout our daily lives or during normal sexual relationships. This seems to be how the brain tries to understand and integrate what happened.
Debauchery as a defense mechanism
And, as we said above, this type of aggression can also trigger compulsive sexual behavior. In fact, research shows that we face one of the most common and long-lasting consequences, although it is also one of the least known and visible. There was a widespread belief in society that the logical consequence was the emergence of an aversion to sex or a refusal to practice it after suffering a trauma.
This increase in sexual seeking, both in frequency and intensity, is often accompanied by feelings of guilt and misunderstanding. It is important to communicate this because when the behavior begins to make sense, the level of distress and guilt seems to decrease.
There are several reasons explaining this behavior. First, some authors have linked this type of traumatic experience to changes in the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain associated with decision making, impulse control, and mood regulation.
Apart from neurobiological explanations, this may be an attempt to eliminate or otherwise remake trauma. That is, in this way, the victim will try to find normalcy in her sex life and ensure that her ability to maintain a relationship is still intact, as a means of regaining control.
On the other hand, hypersexuality can also be understood as a dysfunctional way to avoid problems and relieve pain, since trauma would reduce the tolerance for suffering. This could help to separate sex from attachment, using the former as a tool.
Moreover, the victim may begin to believe that he is unworthy of love. Consequently, these experiences are associated with risky sexual behavior and the acceptance of aggressive partners.
In short, compulsive sexual behavior after sexual abuse is very common, although not as prominent as sexual withdrawal. Moreover, as we already mentioned, it serves a function. It is important to seek psychological help to be able to solve this problem as soon as possible.