Do celebrities have a personal life?

Last fall, Meryl Streep announced that she and her husband Don Gummer had separated, more than six years having passed without anyone except her immediate circle knowing. The news comes during Jada Pinkett Smith’s book tour, during which she revealed that — passionate public displays of devotion aside — she and her husband Will Smith have been living separate lives since 2016. The biggest revelation of all: that it is still possible to keep a secret.

In an age when it seems like everyone from first graders to middle schoolers is constantly baring their souls on social media, the idea that people – even those in the public eye – can keep aspects of their lives private is something to behold. – seems to be a relief. At the same time, is privacy really still within our control, especially for those of us with public profiles, or are its rare occurrences the result of pure luck? Long gone are the days when Roosevelt was able to hide from the public the fact that he used a wheelchair. But conversations with behind-the-scenes image-makers (publicists, journalists and social commentators of all kinds) reveal that there are actually more strategies than ever for keeping the secret in plain sight. Welcome to the Privacy Guide.

Take Jennifer Aniston, for example. When was the last time you heard rumors about her? Her public appearances are carefully orchestrated; access to it is strictly controlled. Last winter, when she revealed in an interview that she had spent her last thirty and forty years trying to have a child, it was news to her legions of fans who may have speculated on similar topics but never had any information until she decided. to give it. “I think it’s funny when someone complains that they just want to be left alone. Okay, Greta Garbo! says former Page Six reporter Paula Froehlich, now a NewsNation correspondent. “If you want to stay under the radar, you can.”

But how?

First, a warning: it is difficult for a person who posts a lot to switch and suddenly go into solitude when it suits him. “If you want to maintain confidentiality, you need to be confidential from the beginning,” says one leading Hollywood publicist. This means distancing yourself from social media or even closing it completely. For titles in bold, this means avoiding places where paparazzi are known to linger, such as Giorgio Baldi or Ivy in Los Angeles or Via Carota in New York, and having the expensive level of protection that comes with hiring a personal publicist.

Indeed, the former New York Daily News Gossip columnist Ben Widdicombe says: “The more influential your name is, the more the role of the personal publicist becomes that of a gatekeeper, keeping you out of the public eye. Most civilians think that a publicist’s job is to advertise their client and get their name out there, but once you reach a certain level of success, the publicist makes the name a more exclusive commodity, placing it in fewer places, adding mystery, and retention client secrets.”

The truth is that there are now more things than ever that famous people, unknown to all of us, are keeping secret. There are still old secrets such as infidelity and drug abuse, but these days plastic surgery and related appearance enhancements top the list, chief among them the use of Ozempic. “There are very specific hotels that people go to for plastic surgery and care, and the times they go and the length of stay that is carefully considered,” says the A-list publicist.

Pregnancy secrets have been all the rage lately, with Paris Hilton debuting one baby and then a second less than a year later, to the surprise of even her family (which, of course, made for great television). Kylie Jenner famously never confirmed reports of her first pregnancy until she gave birth to her daughter Stormi; Mindy Kaling announced that she had given birth to her second child seven weeks after his birth, and has never said who the children’s biological father is. (In 2000, Melissa Etheridge memorably revealed that David Crosby was the sperm donor for her two children with partner Julie Cypher, saying: “We’re just tired of the secret.”)

Just as PR people have long spread rumors for publicity purposes (Widdicombe recalls that when As good as it gets came out, publicists “started a rumor that Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton were having an affair on set, which, as far as I could tell, was not true”), they are also masters of disinformation. If a client has a story she doesn’t want to go public, a good publicist knows that the public may be distracted by something else, although, as one publicist put it, “gone are the days when you could trade horses” (i.e., suggest specific gossip to the press in exchange for refusing to print something else). Instead, “a lot of it has to do with messaging and other storytelling. Sometimes you might say, “Squirrel!” Look here!’ »

As an example, this publicist says, “We recently had two very famous people having an affair and they got stuck in a hotel, and two more very famous people came out the front door, and an illicit couple came out the back door. ” Frohlich says, “Every big establishment has a back entrance. So for people who were ‘accidentally’ caught leaving Sunset Tower and Bungalow San Vicente, this is nonsense.”

The publicist adds that “there are a lot of distractions from other things or other clients. I planted fake and non-fake materials on DeuxMoi,” just so that it would become known, because then more journalistic organizations would appear, such asPeoplewill then call for comment.

Having a trusted inner circle is also crucial for people who don’t want their laundry, dirty or otherwise, aired. “There have always been famous people who were never gossiped about, and there are several reasons for this,” Froehlich says. “First of all, they treat their employees and other people very well.” Princess Diana was so loved by her staff that they helped her get not only her children out of the palace (to go to McDonald’s) but also her lover Hasnat Khan, who reportedly brought him to Princess Margaret’s door because she refused to allow CCTV . cameras were installed there and then in the palace. (Charles’ employees are a different story.)

Those who treat their employees poorly often find that their secrets are just one lawsuit away from being exposed. Mariah Carey, Victoria Principal, Chris Brown and LeAnn Rimes are being sued by their former housekeepers. Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis, the late Lisa Marie Presley, Usher, Halsey, Alanis Morissette and, yes, Mariah Carey have been sued by their nannies, some of them (ahem, Mariah) multiple times. And that’s not counting those whose employees handed them over to the press.

Compare that to people like Aniston, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyoncé and Cate Blanchett, whose names appear in gossip columns only strategically. When you see their name, it’s for a reason – it’s usually related to something they’re promoting. These types, according to Frohlich, usually “don’t try to make money from PR.”

The close circle also extends to friends. Take DiCaprio, for example, whose decades-long list of (often much younger) girlfriends would seemingly beg to uncover more dirt on him. And yet there is practically no gossip about him. “He has good friends that he’s grown up with his whole life,” says author and digital strategist Winter Mitchell. It’s these close relationships, Mitchell says, that help keep people’s lives private. “I have a very good friend who is very famous, and I have a responsibility to provide her with a certain level of protection as a friend,” she says. Mitchell adds that when she advises that person to tell secrets, “I make a mental list of who did she tell? So if it does come out, we can trace how it came out.”

The good news is that if keeping secrets is possible for even the most famous among us, then it truly is achievable for anyone. But for the average person who wants to keep their life on the down low, the formula seems simple: keep your mouth shut, feed in secret, friends are nearby, and the housekeeper is happy.

This story appears in the February 2024 issue of the magazine. City and country. SUBSCRIBE NOW

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