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Hearing Prince Harry say “penis pad” on a late-night talk show wasn’t among my bets for 2023. But yes, he did say it. The Duke of Sussex recently made a guest appearance on The Late Show with host Stephen Colbert, capping off a round of press interviews to promote his recently released memoir, In the shadow.
At one point in the conversation, Colbert asked Harry to talk about one of the episodes he mentions in his book, in which he confessed to having had his penis frozen during the wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William. “You write a lot about your brother,” Colbert began. “You call him Willy, but there is a ‘willy’ (penis in English) that also caused you pain and trouble. You froze.”
“Prefreeze,” Prince Harry corrected him. “Prefreeze on a delicate part of your anatomy,” Colbert continued. “Can you explain how the ‘royal banner’ froze? Why didn’t you take care of the royal jewels?…The context of this is that you are going to the North Pole and things got very cold. At what point did you Did you realize that there was a crisis in the South? Polo?” commented the presenter of The Late Show.
“It didn’t turn into an icicle in the first place,” Harry clarified jokingly. “Okay now, thank you. The context was that these incredible veterans were walking towards the North Pole. They had trained, but I had not. And I showed up thinking: Can’t this be so bad?… It’s just the North Pole, it’s only 35 degrees below zero. I have the dungarees, I have the jacket, I have warm clothes, everything I need. What I didn’t have was what I did when I went to the South Pole, a custom protector for the penis.”
At this unexpected response, Colbert burst out laughing. “As a child, no one in my life could have explained to me that one day the Duke of Sussex would say the words ‘penis shield’ to me and it would all make sense,” the presenter said. Next, Prince Harry then explained that the “delicate part of him” needed protection similar to the rest of his body. A lovely lady made a shield for me after the North Pole guide told her ‘she’ll need extra protection’. Because the pants she was wearing… that’s all she had. So my private parts, my Johnson, my Wilson, my todger, my willy, all the things and every other word…”
“The Tower of London,” Colbert added cheekily. “The Big Ben”. “That’s new,” Harry replied, continuing, “The piece was against a layer of clothing or two very thin layers of clothing… And when you walk, you’re hot and you try not to sweat, because sweat freezes, and once he’s numb, you don’t feel the pain. He’s just asleep.”
The prince said he did not realize the damage that had been done until weeks after he returned home. According to Harry, “there was nothing visible, nothing obvious. It was a slowly deteriorating situation.”
In the book, Harry writes that he told the family during a pre-wedding celebration. “My father showed interest and sympathized with me when I mentioned that my ears and cheeks had been sunburned from the cold,” he writes in his memoirs. “While my ears and cheeks were already healing, my penis was not. Things went from bad to worse as the days went by.