“After I got out of the last treatment center, I knew what made me happy,” Selena explains, “and that was the connection.”
But, per her doctor’s orders, Selena’s planned philanthropic visit to Kenya to see the schools she helped raise money for has been delayed by several years due to her 2017 kidney transplant. Once she’s finally ready to make the trip in 2019, he promised to visit quarterly.
“The truth is, I’ve never felt good enough,” Selena admitted. “Even when I’m on stage in front of a crowd, I always find a person who doesn’t like me and I believe them, I want to believe in myself. The people I’ve met here in Kenya are so generous, I just want to feel that I deserve be here with them.”
During her time in the Maasai Mara, Selena joins the students, discussing love, ambition and, in a particularly emotional conversation with a woman, suicidal ideation.
After her time in Kenya, Selena travels directly to London and Paris to promote her music, but has a hard time adjusting to life as a celebrity. “It seems like a waste of time,” she said. “What am I doing right now?”
After acknowledging that “part of my heart is still in Kenya,” Selena admitted, “sometimes I felt guilty about being there. I hate that, I feel like I went and filmed and experimented, but it’s so hard because I feel so selfish. Do I feel great? Yes, and do I feel like I left an impact? Yes, but do I feel like I’ve done enough? No.”
“Talking to someone about mental health in Kenya is beautiful,” she continued. “I don’t know if I felt like, ‘Oh, I did it and I’m a great person.’ No, it’s just the beginning for me.”