The ultimate trick to make a couple work forever
Any relationship that has lasted a minimum of time will have eroded and lost some bellows compared to the early stages of love, where everything is rosy. The passage of time, the abuse of trust and the routines of each one make it necessary to do maintenance so that the couple does not suffer.
Although two people have been together for many years, they are not exempt from having serious communication problems. They love each other deeply, but they do not stop misinterpreting their needs and desires. Both consider that the other party does not listen to them or does not understand them, which produces frustration and disappointment.
Lack of communication can become a major problem in any relationshipTherefore, ways to improve communication skills must be sought so that the bond stops suffering and becomes solid again.
One of the best strategies to achieve no fissures in the couple is a very simple trick: share 10 minutes at the end of each day to be able to talk. This simple advice can be very beneficial for a relationship, since it is an effective way to show the other party that you care and that you want to strengthen ties with them.
Psychologist Danielle Dowling, Ph.D., who counsels couples in crisis, swears by the belief that this simple daily habit is enough to prevent a couple from making the mistake of living on automatic pilot.
One of the most common scenes in a couple is to talk about banal issues that lead nowhere. They are small, unimportant conversations that serve to fill spaces where there could be silence. And that does not nourish the couple, since when the time comes to get serious and face some kind of problem, it is difficult to share it and agree. For this reason, Dowling believes that taking 10 minutes at the end of the day to talk opens a great window for truly connect with the person you love.
To try to maximize the effectiveness of these listening and comprehension sessions in pairs, a series of guidelines should be followed:
Don’t look for the conflict: At this time, as the specialist explains, conflicts that may exist in the relationship should not be brought up. During these minutes you don’t have to confront ideas, but you have to empty what you carry inside in solitude to find a shoulder to lean on. It is a clear exercise in love in which there is no room for reproach, but efforts to understand what is being said.
Full attention: Obviously, during this moment, which doesn’t have to last too long, there’s nothing to do other than listen. No cell phones, no TV, no work and not even children. Just you and your partner.
Interest yourself: It cannot be a monologue, you have to ask questions. It is the best way to show that there is a real interest in wanting to talk and listen.
Have a fixed schedule: For these spaces to have some effectiveness, they must be done with commitment. To help this, it is interesting to agree on the time at which you start talking and the duration of the sessions.